Reasons to have a gastric bypass done

So I have been thinking about this
Here are some reasons
1) People  are usually disgusted with fat people....that shit is a fact, I know I am...so I want people not to throw up when they see me
2) People say fat people are happy and shit.....NOT....fat people are usually depressed and eat cupcakes in the bathroom...hidden from the rest of the world........so I want to be happy
3) Fat people shop in the big and tall (another term for fat, lardass, and so on) section...So I want to buy clothes in normal stores...no skinny jeans though
4) Fat people never score...who wants to have sex with a person that will crush you in bed and has a limited amount of movement...so i want some vagina and be able to do the HAWK
5) Fat people never get to see their genitals, because their massive stomach and fat rolls are in the way...so i want to be able to say hello to my penis and testicles again..I forgot how they look.
Overall...I just want to be normal and healthy, not a greasy mother fucker and the reason for every fat joke in the world
I am just saying.......