Fucking Nutritionist 2

So yesterday I had to go AGAIN to the midget house...I mean...nutririonist......She was supposed to send me the diet via email...she did not....because she hates my ass..I am a 6 feet tall man, she is a midget...so she hates me, just because
i went to her office and she took all the fucking time in the world to print the motherfucking diet.
She hands it to me, i read it...WTF?????
It went something like this, in parenthesis are my questions....MENU 1  Breakfast, scrambled eggs (how many eggs, eggwhites?) with vegetables (which ones? onion tomato mushroom pepper??), 1 slice of bread (which one? Rye whole grain? Multigrain? White?)  Coffee with Milk (which milk?..2% Non fat? What)   As soon as I started asking a fucked up conversation began....
FatRolando: You are not very precise on these here indications
Midget Nutririonist: Well, all you have to do is read
FR: I am reading but I cannot figure out the amounts for each meal.
MN: Why is that?
FR: Because you did not write them here.
MN: Well you can figure it out
FR: What?!? Look, you are the specialist, you should be more thorough
MN: I understand you are nervous for doing something like you are about to do....but take it easy and just go with the flow...
FR: What flow? Look I am nervous, but because I am supposed to be on some diet prior to the surgery and you are fucking this up for me!!!!
MN: It is your decision....not mine
FR:  It sure is
MN: I think you a re making a mistake, there are risks, you might die...!!!! Besides, why surgery...you despise your body that much?
FR: YES I despise my body...how about you?
MN: I don´t despise your body
FR: I am talking about YOUR body (fucking midget)
MN: That is rude
FR: You telling me that I can die in the OR is rude
MN: Well, it is true
FR: What is also true is that you are an idiot...with all due respect..FUCK YOU! AND BTW; after the surgery, I will get A LOT OF ACTION.....what are you getting right now? Pitty Sex?
end of conversation, I left the place as I got up abruptaly
I had to call AH (surgeon) in order to tell him this...he said and I quote "(sounding like Cheech and Chong high on weed) Dude...chilll . You already have a surgery date...you already have everything setup, I will send you a diet over email, follow that and you are good to go"
MOTHERFUCKER....WHY did he not do that from the begining? WHY make me go to the midget nutritionist and the whole ordeal?
Unreal...I feel I am surrounded by idiots, but hey...takes one to know one!!!!
Anyway, all is good, and today I feel very happy because yesterday, I got a hug from m
y girl, who told me she loved me regardless of my fatness (I know it is bullshit, but at least she tries...gotto give her that)

Have a good one

Fucking Nutritionist!!!!!

So, I go to the nutritionist...I had a conversation with her over the phone prior to my first visit to g¡her office...thinking she sounded hot...as I mentioned before....well, SHE WAS A MIDGET....Ok..I know that I am supposed to say "Little Person". But this motherfucking "little person" had an attitude, so screw it!!! I am calling her MIDGET
Well, this midget looks at me like I am some sort of alien and starts asking all these stupid questions. Yeah right, you are a nutritionist and you have never seen a fat guy before....unreal!!!!!
First of all, the only reason I went there is because I need a diet so I can go from solids, to semi solids, to liquid, and so on...I don´t need a fucking lecture on WHY I am fat
I know why I am fat...because I EAT JUNK, and lots of it, ALL THE TIME!!!! DUH!!!
I also do not need someone telling me that I have little to no will power. HELLOOOOOOO   I know that, that is why I am removing my stomach from my body!!!!!.
 Here is how some of the conversation went
Midget: What kind of food do you eat?
FatRolando: Junk food
M: That is not healthy.
FR: No shit!!!
M: I think if you put your mind and heart and soul into it you can lose weight
FR: I will put my wallet into it and YES I will lose weight. My heart and soul are in other places
M: Where?
FR: Adriana, vaginas, Express slim fit shirts...that sort of thing.......(she did not get it....sorry Mia, had to through a vagina in there)
M: I think I can help you lose weight
FR: I don´t think so
M: I think you must believe in yourself
FR. I believe in the scalpel, also, i do believe in myself AFTER the surgery
M: Do you believe in Jesus? He can help you go through this.....
FR: (Big SIGH...here we go)  Does Jesus has me as a dependent in his insurance policy? If not, then I am on my own
M: You can pray, don´t you pray?
FR: I do, very much, always, nevertheless...am I in a church or in a nutritionist´s office?
M: I am just concerned, surgery is the last resort
FR: Yup, I am doing it
M: Is there anything I can do or say to stop you from doing this?
FR: Do you have a giant vaccuum that can suck all of my neck and belly fat? Remove my double chin?
M: (laughter) No!
FR: Then fuck it, I am doing the surgery. Give me the diet and that is it
Why is this person obsessed with the fact that some people decide to go through surgery?
I wish that I could do porelain veneers to everyone that came to my office, however, some can´t afford them, some are not convinced about the treatment and some just don´t want to do them!!!! I get it, it is not unethical to have surgery done.... nor to offer the surgery.
I mean, I made an educated and calculated decision...I think i am somewhat educated, and I have been doing my research on this matter, after all the reading and consultation, I decided to go with it!!! it takes some massive amount of balls to go through this, I think that I could even die. I am very nervous about this, I am losing my sleep, and I am both depressed and excited at the same time.....
So ......she can BITE ME!!!!!
I don´t need some fucking midget nutritionist rocking my boat.......
Just saying.....
Cheers

Video Blog......just testing...

Pig Out

So tomorrow is my appointment with the nutritionist
I am already aware that I will be doing a fucked up preop diet and shit....
Nevertheless...I will be pigging out this weekend....like there is no tomorrow....I will be eating all sorts of shit, because on Monday i start a diet for the surgery, after the surgery I will not be able to eat much...it will take a while until I can get back to eating solids, so this weekend...It is pig out time BABY!!!!
I will eat like a motherfucker...and the best thing is that Adriana is agreeing, thus, I just had brownies, doritos, coca cola and cereal for dinner....This is the LIFEEEEEEE
I will probably wont have any sex tonight, but with all the shit I ate I don´t think i can move fast, nor do any thrusting....fuck it...where are the brownies?????
Good night!!!

A BIG reason I am doing this

I know that being healthy is important...the fitting clothes, the "no need" to get an extension in order to buckle in an airplane, The looks, the whole thing.
BUT, one of the main reasons I do this is because Adriana
She came to my life in a moment where I thought, well...I guess I will dedicate myself to studying, researching and maybe taking pictures....of course there were the kids..
But she has filled  my life with love and care, she is concerned not only about looks and shit but also about health.
BUT I think that she is more concerned about me crushing her in bed...I mean..she is small and I am humungous. Not a good situation for  her right there....and there is the snoring.
So, Me not crushing her is a MAIN reason to do this.
Plus I will definitely get more action from her
She is concerned that I will leave her after I get slim....well..if she doesn´t comply with certain demands (HAWK and Shit), she will be exchanged for someone more obliging.
I am kidding...I love my girl, I will love her for as long as she stays next to me and I am blessed for that.
(I still think I will deserve more sex though)

The power of vagina

Just got a call from AH
He told me that the final date of the surgery is Wednesday July 3rd.
I almost shit my pants.
I started to think about NOT doing it.
Then I took a look at Adriana here in the office
OMG...She will be HAWKED so many times!!!!!!!!! She doesn´t know what´s coming....even if she dumps me....WHO FUCKING CARES!!!!! I will be slim and with an attitude.....and some cash!!! I will get some!!!!!
So there you have it!!!!
If you are scared of doing something...think about vagina (or penis)....(or candy if you are MIA), and that will fill your courage bar to go through with it!
Cheers

Clarification

After talking to some of ya´ll I have to clarify certain things......
1) Yes I am FAT
2) FOUPA splint?......I do not have a vagina...well I have one at home but it is not MINE...like i would wanted to be...that is why I am getting this surgery
3) Not being able to see my genitals even after the surgery?  I really can´t say...It´s been a while since I saw them boys
Again, I will be going to the nutritionist this friday and I will tell you about how it went.
This is a nice picture sent to me by Mrs. Judy, it does look like me
It is called "Dickhead"
Now...that shit IS funny

One step forward...two steps back

So the Dr...the surgeon...who from now on I will refer to as AH (ASS-HOLE), told me that I needed to go to a nutritionist in order to get a "special" pre op diet..
I have an appointment on Friday...but she (the nutritionist) told me over the phone (she sounded hot...maybe I will place her on my list.... My I will get action due to my slimness list) that I needed to get on a diet in order to "flush" my stomach and loose at least 8 pounds BEFORE the surgery.
Now, AH told me that I needed to be at a specific weight in order to get the surgery...to qualify..now I need to loose weight?
Somebody tell this motherfucker to get shit straight.
I will tell you the whole diet shit on friday
Enjoy those beautiful sunny days
Cheers

Reasons to have a gastric bypass done

So I have been thinking about this
Here are some reasons
1) People  are usually disgusted with fat people....that shit is a fact, I know I am...so I want people not to throw up when they see me
2) People say fat people are happy and shit.....NOT....fat people are usually depressed and eat cupcakes in the bathroom...hidden from the rest of the world........so I want to be happy
3) Fat people shop in the big and tall (another term for fat, lardass, and so on) section...So I want to buy clothes in normal stores...no skinny jeans though
4) Fat people never score...who wants to have sex with a person that will crush you in bed and has a limited amount of movement...so i want some vagina and be able to do the HAWK
5) Fat people never get to see their genitals, because their massive stomach and fat rolls are in the way...so i want to be able to say hello to my penis and testicles again..I forgot how they look.
Overall...I just want to be normal and healthy, not a greasy mother fucker and the reason for every fat joke in the world
I am just saying.......

OMFG

So i had another conversation with the Dr.  that is going to make the miracle happen. Mother fucker told me i need to order a custumized tailor made girdle. WTF?

Unreal. Now let's be honest. That shit IS funny. Fatrolando on a girdle. I will take pictures bitches. So you can laugh. Enough said. I am at the airport. Waiting for Michael Cohen to step out of the plane. From here we are going to the tittybar. Go get somé action and shit . Fatrolando is happy. Be happy for me bitches. 

Cheers

I got a date with the scalpel

Surgery date is July 2nd 2013
I will be having this surgery in Caracas if it all goes well
I am going to spend more than I have...but hopefully it will totally worth it.
I have gotten some great support and advice from a few friends...Mrs Judy from Bisco has been awesome...keeping it real, telling me how it is, or was for her.
I truly appreciate that
I am very scared, it is major surgery, I think about my children, about my life, about things that I need to do, about things that I want to do and haven´t done yet......
I also think about the massive amount of vagina I will be getting after this surgery....
FUCK IT...I AM DOING IT!!!!!!!
Cheers

Final date is scheduled...OMG I am fucking nervous

Ok, here we go
I went to the Surgeon...looong fucking appointment
My Cholesterol levels are a tad high (No shiT!!!!! I am fat!)
Other than that I am in good overall condition for the surgery.
The date will be Tuesday July 2nd.
I have to go on some liquid diet two weeks prior to the surgery.
I have too musch stuff going on right now to schedule this month...so I am doing it at the begining of next month....my birthday month
So afther the surgery, no sex for a little while, damn it!!!!!  But as soon as I get skinny I will become a WHORE...I´ll be having sex even with Mr. Lee. Just kidding...about having sex with Mr. Lee...I will become awhore
So I will keep you posted as the day gets closer.
Have a good one